Q&A Bachelorette Parties

Over the past few months, I have received a couple of different messages from friends with questions regarding bachelorette party etiquette. Let me just say first, that I love it when people ask me questions about anything wedding or bridal party related. I try to be as helpful and honest as possible when giving my opinion on the situation.

Here are the questions--

"I'm getting together my list of the bachelorette party. I wanted to invite school friends, but we can't fit even half into the wedding guest list. Is it okay to invite them to the bachelorette party, but not the wedding?
             --Meagan

My response was something like this:
"In my opinion this would be a little taboo. Typically when you are inviting guests to showers or parties it is expected that they will be invited to the wedding also. I think that most guests assume this as well. However, some people feel that the bachelorette party guest list is a little different because it's more of a fun night out on the town and you should invite whoever you want! The ultimate decision is up to you of course and whatever you are comfortable with."

Meagan told me she was leaning towards the first option, but she was most concerned about hurt feelings. That is something I have heard from several brides, but it would be impossible to invite everyone you know or everyone you have ever met to your wedding without the expense becoming outrageous. Every bride has their own budget and I think that is something folks need to realize. Just because you were close to someone once upon a time, that doesn't mean you are going to be invited to their special day (too harsh?).

The other question was related to do asking party guests to chip in:
"I've called about 8 different limo services asking for quotes. When you did this for the other bachelorette party, did you ask all of the guests to pitch in or did you pay for it all? ...I didn't know how you would go about asking everyone to pitch in if that's even appropriate. Obviously, I wouldn't ask the bride to pitch in!"
            --Emily

My response?
"I asked everyone to pitch in. I think it's kind of expected that for bachelorette parties all the guests chip in for things like that. Weddings and all things wedding related cost a lot and I think people expect to pay a good bit of money for these activities. For this, I would send everyone a message and let them know the plan in advance and what they might be expected to pay for (and how much)."

Something I should have added was that the price should still be as reasonable as possible. For example, if you only have 5 guests, try to avoid a really costly hotel that would be expensive even when split between everyone. I always try to be conscious of things like this. When I'm thinking of costs I usually think, "Would I be okay with this if someone asked me to pay this much?" (I think Emily ended up going with a taxi service to save some $$ because it was a small group)

Now, really these are just my own opinions on the matter. In the end the bridesmaid or bride should do whatever they are most comfortable with planning or asking people to contribute to the event.

I hope this was a little helpful for anyone out there planning a bachelorette party or shower.

Are there etiquette questions coming to mind after reading this?? Let me know and I will do my best to help out!

Monograms & Mimosas

This weekend was filled with wedding festivities and some time fulfilling my bridesmaid duties!

Myself and the Matron of Honor, Jenny, put together a Monograms and Mimosas shower for Brittany and it turned out beautiful! This is a great shower to throw for your bride if she loves monogrammed apparel and mimosas (but then again, who doesn't love mimosas?!). 

Here is the invite with the monogram info we sent out and a photo of a delicious mimosa: 

Since Jenny and I were hosting together, we split up all of the duties- I was in charge of all the decorations and Jenny put together the menu. The hit food items were tortellini salad  and spinach and artichoke bites. They were so delicious and everyone loved them, along with all the other food!

As soon as Brittany requested this shower, I envisioned the exact decorations I wanted (thankfully Jenny is easy going and loved it all!) and they turned out pretty much exactly as I had pictured. 

I used scrap book paper to make the banners- to me it's the best deal and it always looks so good. You can cut it into any shape/size and there are different patterns and textures you can choose from. Plus, Hobby Lobby has a great selection that is inexpensive and occasionally on sale. 

I had these great drink dispensers that allow you to add decorations to the bottom-how awesome is that? You can change the decorations to match the decor of whatever event you might be hosting. 

We had plenty of champagne, but we also made sure to have some sparkling white grape juice for the junior bridesmaid or anyone else who didn't want alcohol (the junior bridesmaid-and her mom- really appreciated it!). 

The honorary bridesmaid, Kristina couldn't make it to the shower, but she did make these adorable chalkboards to add to the decor: 

We didn't play any of your typical bridal shower games because we had a small group who knew each other already, so the shower consisted mostly of girl talk over mimosas. 

However, we did have an ongoing game throughout the shower titled, "Bridezilla," that I found here on Pinterest. It consisted of having to wear the silly tiara if you were caught saying any of the 'taboo' wedding words like, "wedding," "bride," dress," etc etc. Let's just say, it got passed around a LOT! 

Here is the beautiful bride wearing the dreaded head piece (although, she totally pulled it off in my opinion!):

All in all it turned out amazing and the bride got some of the cutest monogram gifts! I ordered her an adorable monogram beach hat from Etsy-perfect for the upcoming honeymoon!

I was so pleased with how all the decorations turned out and the food was so delicious. I highly recommend the M&M shower to anyone looking for a fun shower plan.

We ended the day by fulfilling some of the classic bridesmaid duties, including putting together favors, goodie bags for the hotel, and labels for the 'dancing shoes.' It was actually really fun and basically a slumber party. We were paid in pizza and wine- which, I don't know about you, but that is good payment in my book! 

**Be on the lookout for a post about the upcoming bachelorette party and nuptials**

March Wedding Madness

The title of this blog post represents my life this month-there is so much wedding stuff going on for so many of my friends! You may have been preparing your brackets for March Madness, but that is nothing compared to preparing my calendar for the month of March.

I attended my friend Brittany's (insert link) bridal shower a couple weeks ago and it was lovely!! It was headed by her mom and a family friend and they did such a great job with food (it was delicious), decorations (adorable, especially the printed paper straws), and the yummy champagne punch (who doesn't love a boozy punch??). 

As the Maid of Honor in Brittany's wedding, I have been preparing for all my shower duties, but she also has a Matron of Honor. We split up the typical bridal shower duties- I was in charge of collecting bows for the rehearsal bouquet and handing the bride her gifts, while Jenny wrote the list of names and gifts for thank you cards. I have to say that having another MOH has been awesome!

I also attended Amber and Joe's engagement party (which you can read a little more about on Amber's blog). One of the other bridesmaids hosted and it turned out to be amazing!! She had the cutest decorations and a whole smorgasbord of food that was scrumptious and homemade! I was completely impressed.

My boyfriend and I brought the standard gift of a bottle of booze, but I also made Amber a ring dish (with her soon-to-be new initials) following the idea from this blog post. It turned out so adorable:

Needless to say, this month has really been testing my MOH credentials, but I have enjoyed every minute of it so far and I have felt like a success!

At the end of this month, I will be attending a friend's wedding and I am not in the bridal party. I can't wait to attend that wedding and help to celebrate my the big day as a guest! 

Next weekend, Jenny and I are throwing a Monograms and Mimosas shower for Brittany. We have been planning it for months and I can't wait to blog about it. 

Be on the look out for photos soon! 

Golden Birthday

I hate how absent I have been from the blogging world. I don't even want to admit how long it's been...

My only excuse is the start of my new job! I have been so busy learning all about my new job duties in crisis assessment and about the company I am working for. So exciting! 

Besides that, I have been involved in wedding stuff galore during this glorious month of March and it's only about half way over! I have been to an engagement party and a bridal shower and there is still more to come that I will be blogging about soon- I promise!!

I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but I also want to blog about other events that I plan or that I am involved in and any good DIY, recipes, decorations etc. that I come across. 

Hence the name of this blog post about my golden birthday party [for those who don't know what a golden birthday is, it's when your age is the same as your birthdate. For me, I turned 26 on the 26th of February]. 

I had a big party and a lot of friends came to town to celebrate with me. We had it at our favorite restaurant in downtown Milledgeville- Amici- and reserved the upstairs party space. 

The theme was all gold and black to fit with the golden birthday theme. Even my dress fit in with the theme! 

I made black and gold flag banners out of scrap book paper (from Hobby Lobby of course) and we set up an awesome photo booth complete with props:

I also made the glittering gold numbers from craft supplies at Hobby Lobby:

Not to mention these delicious chocolate cupcakes with gold sprinkles and gold wrappers... YUM!

All in all, it was a successful birthday and I recommend everyone take advantage of an opportunity to celebrate their golden birthday. If anything, it's an excuse to dress up and make fun treats! 

I can't wait to blog about the bridal shower and engagement party I attended recently. They were so beautiful and fun! I have also had a few friends ask me questions about etiquette, so be on the look out for a Q&A post! 

I have missed you blog!! I promise to never neglect you like this again! 

Problems Only Bridesmaids Will Understand

Has it really been almost two weeks since my last post??

There has just been so much going on that I have [unfortunately] been neglecting my blog… shame, shame.

Just a little bit of what's being going on in my life...
I had a big birthday party this past weekend to celebrate my upcoming golden birthday- I will be turning 26 on February 26th. This is something of a tradition in my family and I was surprised to hear that some of my friends had never heard of this concept! My birthday is one of my favorite days of the year and always has been.

I was offered a position as a crisis assessor for a local behavioral health center and orientation starts Monday! I am beyond excited and this will be my first, "big girl," job using my degree, so there has been a lot to celebrate lately.

This time of the year is the best for television because all of my favorite TV shows are starting again after a long winter break: The Walking Dead, Glee, Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, Game of Thrones… I could go on.

But enough about my life, let's get back to the important stuff.

One of my brides, Brittany, started a Facebook group for all the bridesmaids in order for us to have easy access to each other and so that she can keep us updated on all things wedding related. Occasionally, something funny gets posted like this BuzzFeed article about problems only bridesmaids will understand. One of my favorite things about the article is the tagline, "So much drama, and it isn't even your wedding."

Now, I have mentioned before that I have been lucky enough to have pretty easy going bride friends. However… and I'm just gonna say it… there's going to be some kind of drama either way, small or big. Am I right my fellow bridesmaids??

I only want to touch on a few of these today, but I have a feeling I will be referring back to this post more than once.

Number 2: All your free time will be dedicated to wedding activities.

This could not be more relevant to my life right now. The month of March is fully dedicated to weddings and as the MOH for two weddings this year, I am fully committed to these events. All of my bride friends live in Hotlanta, so basically every weekend in March I will be traveling to see them. I have two bridal showers, an engagement party, and a wedding to attend. That being said-- I wouldn't miss these events for anything.

Numbers 5 and 6: The bridesmaid dress will not be flattering to your body type and it isn't cheap.

I have to disagree with these because my brides have been conservative with price and I actually love the two dresses I will be wearing this year. Anyone ever heard of Little Borrowed Dress? If you haven't, go check out their website immediately and recommend it to any of your friends who are engaged or close to it!

Basically, it all comes down to number 25: Crying off your makeup because you're so happy for the newlyweds. This is another one of those, "that's what being a bridesmaid is all about," moments. Any drama seems to disappear the minute you walk down that aisle and celebrate the marriage of two people you love. Just remember number 25 during those times you feel like throwing the bride into a chokehold because she added one more thing to the to-do list.

Good luck out there bridesmaids!

Join me for my next blog post, I'll be sharing all the details from my birthday party!!

Dress Shopping And Opinions

Who has been watching the Olympics?? I have only been watching a little bit because I don't find the Winter Olympics as exciting as the Summer Olympics…. really the only sports I enjoy watching in the winter are ice skating and ice dancing- which is probably a little stereotypical.

We are also in the middle of an ice storm here in GA, so I have had a lot of free time on my "snow day" to make a big breakfast, put some yummy chicken in the crock pot, and of course to write a blog! It is snowmaggedon part 2 here- be safe everyone!

This past weekend I accompanied my bride-to-be friend Amber for wedding dress shopping. I have only been shopping for wedding dresses one other time with Becca about 4 years ago. I guess this is because the first shopping trip for wedding dresses is usually reserved for the mother of the bride? Well, I know that will be the case for me one day. My mom has repeatedly said, "I hope you know that no one else is going dress shopping with us when it's your turn." She obviously feels very passionate about this! Although, she always cracks a little and says I am allowed to bring one, maybe two friends.

But, enough about me!

Dress shopping is a really fun and special time. I was so excited to be able to go shopping with amber, along with most of the bridesmaids and the grooms mother. We went to this bridal shop in Cumming, GA where they not only sell bridal gowns, but also prom dresses. The place was crawling with high school girls trying on prom dresses (most of which were very scandalous)!!

The bridal consultant suggested that Amber try on a dress in all different styles because you never know what style you will actually look good in and fall in love with (despite what pictures you have pinned on Pinterest!).

I feel that one of the essential duties of a bridesmaid or maid of honor is to be fully supportive of the bride and of course Amber looked amazing in all the dresses she tried on. However, it was obvious to see that she had found THE dress after seeing the look on her face. As a bridesmaid (or really anyone who attends dress shopping) it is important to be supportive of the bride and encourage her to go with her hearts desire….

You should only give an opinion if you're asked.

Actually, this applies to anyone who knows anyone who is getting married. I have had several of my bride friends become overwhelmed by the unwelcome opinions of family members, friends, coworkers etc etc. When a bride asked for help, by all means give advice or assistance- otherwise I strongly suggest keeping your opinions to yourself.

Back on topic- Amber chose a dress and of course it looked amazing! I can't wait to see her walk down the aisle in it!!

The next step was choosing the bridesmaid dress. I have always been willing to pretty much wear whatever the bride wants me to and it seemed like the other bridesmaids felt the same way (we are a pretty easy going bunch). Amber knew that she wanted us to wear a long dress, so we all picked a different style, tried them on, and pretty much agreed immediately on the dress we liked the most. So easy! The dress is so comfortable and is going to be so elegant when we get them in the color of choice-eggplant.

I was grateful that Amber allowed us to have a choice, but if she had picked something out and told me to order it I would have done that too. This is what happened in the last wedding I was in and it worked out perfect- everyone looked amazing! It is the bride's discretion.

If you're asked to be a bridesmaid and you say yes, this means that you shouldn't be too picky when it comes to choosing what you will wear. The bride has a vision of what she wants her wedding to be like and (in my opinion) you shouldn't try to change that too much. Now, don't get me wrong if the bride is asking you to wear something you are completely uncomfortable in- you might want to bring it up.

Just remember: it is the bride's day and it really is all about the bride! (However, I do appreciate that commercial {I can't remember what it's for} where the company explains that the wedding day is all about the bride, but the bride is only looking at the groom. Isn't that sweet?).

Regardless, this is a time for the bride to feel special and I don't think that anyone should take away from that with their actions, words, or opinions.

Keep up the morale and follow through with your duties! The bride picked you to be in her wedding because she loves you and considers you to be a special part of her life.

On Being A Bridesmaid

There are so many blogs about weddings, wedding planning, the bride, etc. that are so helpful to the planning process. What about the events leading up to the wedding and the people who plan them? I think these parties, showers, and weekend getaways are also important to the planning process, even though the bride and groom don't typically plan them. These are events to show love to the bride and groom from the people who know them best and love them the most. These are also important events to prepare the bride and groom for the wedding and life as a married couple.

This is where us bridesmaids come into play.

The word bridesmaid is defined simply as, "an attendant of the bride," or "a woman who accompanies the bride on her wedding day."

But, a bridesmaid is so much more.

We are there from the beginning attending to the bride's every need and trying to assist the bride any way that we can.

This past weekend I was at a bridal shower for a close friend getting married in March. While I was there I was chatting with my friend Casie who is going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding later this year. This will be her first time as a bridesmaid and she is so excited, but she also wasn't really sure what exactly she should be doing.

Casie explained, "I've made sure to ask the bride if I can help her in any way and I have offered to help her with anything she needs, but she usually says that she has it all under control." My reply was, "That is exactly what you should be doing, be there when the bride needs you." Now, if she was the MOH my response may have differed slightly because there is always more responsibility when acting as MOH.

So, what are the duties of the bridal party??

Here is my short and sweet version of bridal party duties:

The Maid of Honor (aka The MOH)

This lovely lady is typically a family member or the bride's closest (and most responsible) friend. I say the most responsible because the part of the MOH is usually very important.  She is there for the bride every step of the way, keeping her calm and collected, and is usually in charge of wrangling the rest of the bridesmaids. The MOH will be responsible for planning a shower and the bachelorette party, preparing a speech for the wedding, and buying a gift for at least one shower and the wedding. Basically, she is the #1 go to gal for the bride throughout the planning process and the wedding day.

Bridesmaids

That being said, the bridesmaids are just as important to the wedding and planning process. These ladies are typically family (with the groom's side also included) and the bride's closest friends. They should also be a responsible bunch of women. The bridesmaids main duty is to basically be there for the bride whenever necessary and to offer assistance to the MOH.

The Best Man 

Similar to the MOH, this guy should be reliable and close to the groom. He is responsible for planning the bachelor party, wrangling all the groomsmen, and preparing a toast for the wedding. The best man should be available to assist the groom in whatever way necessary and to keep the groom calm and collected throughout the process and especially the day of the wedding (we want to avoid cold feet!!).

Groomsmen

The groomsmen are typically family and close friends of the groom (the bride's family is often included as well). They are to assist the groom and the best man in whatever way possible. Their duties usually include: decorating the getaway car, helping plan the bachelor party, or anything else the groom and best man might need.

Miscellaneous Tips: 

• Every person in the bridal party is typically responsible for paying for their own travel and attire. 
• It is acceptable for any person involved in the wedding (or not) to plan a shower for the bride and groom. 
• All members of the bridal party attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
• Bridesmaids and groomsmen should mingle with guests and encourage dancing (if that's even necessary!)

Not only is it important for the bride to understand what to expect from her bridesmaids or the groom from his groomsmen, but it is important to realize what is expected of you as a part of the bridal party. Of course, these are just suggestions based on tradition and each wedding will be different and require different responsibilities. Also, remember that you don't have to say yes to being a bridesmaid- you may not be financially able to commit or that may not be your thing. If you are part of someone's wedding day, the key thing to remember is to make them feel special, remind them that you are there for support in whatever way they may need, and be ready to have some serious fun with your closest friends!




(If you are looking for more information on bridal party duties, I recommend checking out Lauren Conrad's blog, Bridal Guide, The Knot etc. for guidance)