Wednesday, February 5, 2014

On Being A Bridesmaid

There are so many blogs about weddings, wedding planning, the bride, etc. that are so helpful to the planning process. What about the events leading up to the wedding and the people who plan them? I think these parties, showers, and weekend getaways are also important to the planning process, even though the bride and groom don't typically plan them. These are events to show love to the bride and groom from the people who know them best and love them the most. These are also important events to prepare the bride and groom for the wedding and life as a married couple.

This is where us bridesmaids come into play.

The word bridesmaid is defined simply as, "an attendant of the bride," or "a woman who accompanies the bride on her wedding day."

But, a bridesmaid is so much more.

We are there from the beginning attending to the bride's every need and trying to assist the bride any way that we can.

This past weekend I was at a bridal shower for a close friend getting married in March. While I was there I was chatting with my friend Casie who is going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding later this year. This will be her first time as a bridesmaid and she is so excited, but she also wasn't really sure what exactly she should be doing.

Casie explained, "I've made sure to ask the bride if I can help her in any way and I have offered to help her with anything she needs, but she usually says that she has it all under control." My reply was, "That is exactly what you should be doing, be there when the bride needs you." Now, if she was the MOH my response may have differed slightly because there is always more responsibility when acting as MOH.

So, what are the duties of the bridal party??

Here is my short and sweet version of bridal party duties:

The Maid of Honor (aka The MOH)

This lovely lady is typically a family member or the bride's closest (and most responsible) friend. I say the most responsible because the part of the MOH is usually very important.  She is there for the bride every step of the way, keeping her calm and collected, and is usually in charge of wrangling the rest of the bridesmaids. The MOH will be responsible for planning a shower and the bachelorette party, preparing a speech for the wedding, and buying a gift for at least one shower and the wedding. Basically, she is the #1 go to gal for the bride throughout the planning process and the wedding day.

Bridesmaids

That being said, the bridesmaids are just as important to the wedding and planning process. These ladies are typically family (with the groom's side also included) and the bride's closest friends. They should also be a responsible bunch of women. The bridesmaids main duty is to basically be there for the bride whenever necessary and to offer assistance to the MOH.

The Best Man 

Similar to the MOH, this guy should be reliable and close to the groom. He is responsible for planning the bachelor party, wrangling all the groomsmen, and preparing a toast for the wedding. The best man should be available to assist the groom in whatever way necessary and to keep the groom calm and collected throughout the process and especially the day of the wedding (we want to avoid cold feet!!).

Groomsmen

The groomsmen are typically family and close friends of the groom (the bride's family is often included as well). They are to assist the groom and the best man in whatever way possible. Their duties usually include: decorating the getaway car, helping plan the bachelor party, or anything else the groom and best man might need.

Miscellaneous Tips: 


  • Every person in the bridal party is typically responsible for paying for their own travel and attire. 
  • It is acceptable for any person involved in the wedding (or not) to plan a shower for the bride and groom. 
  • All members of the bridal party attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
  • Bridesmaids and groomsmen should mingle with guests and encourage dancing (if that's even necessary!)

Not only is it important for the bride to understand what to expect from her bridesmaids or the groom from his groomsmen, but it is important to realize what is expected of you as a part of the bridal party. Of course, these are just suggestions based on tradition and each wedding will be different and require different responsibilities. Also, remember that you don't have to say yes to being a bridesmaid- you may not be financially able to commit or that may not be your thing. If you are part of someone's wedding day, the key thing to remember is to make them feel special, remind them that you are there for support in whatever way they may need, and be ready to have some serious fun with your closest friends!




(If you are looking for more information on bridal party duties, I recommend checking out Lauren Conrad's blog, Bridal Guide, The Knot etc. for guidance)

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