Q&A Bachelorette Parties

Over the past few months, I have received a couple of different messages from friends with questions regarding bachelorette party etiquette. Let me just say first, that I love it when people ask me questions about anything wedding or bridal party related. I try to be as helpful and honest as possible when giving my opinion on the situation.

Here are the questions--

"I'm getting together my list of the bachelorette party. I wanted to invite school friends, but we can't fit even half into the wedding guest list. Is it okay to invite them to the bachelorette party, but not the wedding?
             --Meagan

My response was something like this:
"In my opinion this would be a little taboo. Typically when you are inviting guests to showers or parties it is expected that they will be invited to the wedding also. I think that most guests assume this as well. However, some people feel that the bachelorette party guest list is a little different because it's more of a fun night out on the town and you should invite whoever you want! The ultimate decision is up to you of course and whatever you are comfortable with."

Meagan told me she was leaning towards the first option, but she was most concerned about hurt feelings. That is something I have heard from several brides, but it would be impossible to invite everyone you know or everyone you have ever met to your wedding without the expense becoming outrageous. Every bride has their own budget and I think that is something folks need to realize. Just because you were close to someone once upon a time, that doesn't mean you are going to be invited to their special day (too harsh?).

The other question was related to do asking party guests to chip in:
"I've called about 8 different limo services asking for quotes. When you did this for the other bachelorette party, did you ask all of the guests to pitch in or did you pay for it all? ...I didn't know how you would go about asking everyone to pitch in if that's even appropriate. Obviously, I wouldn't ask the bride to pitch in!"
            --Emily

My response?
"I asked everyone to pitch in. I think it's kind of expected that for bachelorette parties all the guests chip in for things like that. Weddings and all things wedding related cost a lot and I think people expect to pay a good bit of money for these activities. For this, I would send everyone a message and let them know the plan in advance and what they might be expected to pay for (and how much)."

Something I should have added was that the price should still be as reasonable as possible. For example, if you only have 5 guests, try to avoid a really costly hotel that would be expensive even when split between everyone. I always try to be conscious of things like this. When I'm thinking of costs I usually think, "Would I be okay with this if someone asked me to pay this much?" (I think Emily ended up going with a taxi service to save some $$ because it was a small group)

Now, really these are just my own opinions on the matter. In the end the bridesmaid or bride should do whatever they are most comfortable with planning or asking people to contribute to the event.

I hope this was a little helpful for anyone out there planning a bachelorette party or shower.

Are there etiquette questions coming to mind after reading this?? Let me know and I will do my best to help out!